OK so even tho I know this {re}wedding is not JUST about me getting free reign to be fully creative on many levels and in all the details, it kinda has been at the same time. These last few months of preparing for our day has been a sea of creativity. When I get to visit that sea I always ride in Jesus's boat. I feel closest to Him when I am sailing in His creative spirit. I have felt Him with me the whole time: giving me a vision of what it was going to become, getting excited with me, going before me to provide the details and illuminating the places where I get to see Him. He speaks to me so often in a metaphoric tongue to reveal Himself in the tapestry. The song He keeps singing me is one of "Old made new, broken made beautiful...." This is the story of our marriage, of our lives and of anyone's life who choses to give it to Him.
Of corse the plan was to blog about all of this as it was happening, leading up to the {re}wedding, but as I was in that sea, I couldnt really write about it. Looking back I know I am apt to miss some details so I pray He will remind me. I will wait to write about the actual {re}wedding except to say it was PERFECT. For now I will try and stay focused on the preparations that I so enjoyed.
THE MAKING OF THE {RE}WEDDING................
The first thing I knew about this {re}wedding was that was going to do all the details myself. I read lots of things saying to do exactly the opposite, "it would be too much, I would have had to have done this before, I would end up not enjoying myself and stressing myself out way more then not..." I knew that was not true for me. I loved it all. The only times I was a little stressed was when I had to co-ordinate with other people. Calling the table rental place a week before to confirm delivery time was more stressful to me then the making of my gown from 100yr old handmade lace. This is who I am. I am less stressed the more creative I am able to be- so creating every detail was thrilling and relaxing for me. And it blessed me so much to see Micah have all faith in me that that was the case. We both, however, agreed that my grace stopped at actually baking the cake. I could make the decorations for the cake, but we left the yumminess to a professional. He never questioned all I put on my plate, or my vision or my ability to pull it off. Please, however do not read this as "nobody helped me at all" that is so FAR from the truth. The amount of hands and hearts that poured into our day was truly humbling and Christ-like. That will be its own post. For now I will reminisce on the making.....
My bouquet was the first thing I made. I went on a mad frenzy of brooch hunting from January- July, finding beautiful pieces all in clear rhinestone.
As the date came closer and my hands were picking up pace Micah really encouraged me to make my dress sooner rather then later ( as in the night before- which he knew I was liable to do).
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The dress! the dress! hee-hee-hee the dress!
At first I thought I might be able to wear my moms wedding dress, it had a beautiful shape and classic style and it would be a sweet family heirloom. She told me she thought it was in the attic, but then I though I remembered that we donated it to a bridal project when I was in Middle school after I tried it on and it was already too small for me. I tried to find it anyway, but even that morning I knew I wasnt going to find it. The night before I had a dream and that morning and I knew it was my dress I was dreaming about.
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In my dream I was stepping off of the altar area of a church ( the church had wooden beams and light pouring in) and my vision zoomed in onto the dress I was wearing, mostly the shoulder and side. It was a quick look and all I could make out was that it was a crochet type fabric and it was cream colored. It was not my moms dress, but I knew in my dream that it was my dress, I also knew for sure that I wouldnt find her's in the attic.
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What I did find at moms house was a beautiful embroidered table cloth that had been my paternal grandmothers; and it had been her Aunts before that. It is so beautiful, a lovely linen with beautiful hand embroidery. I pulled out my mother's mother's hope chest and held out her hand tatted (sorta like crochet but its a knotting technique that the women in my moms family had done for years) table cloth and what I saw was the makings of my dress!
Now, you would think that cutting into 100 year old lace would be a nerve wracking thing, but it wasn't. The whole time I was making the dress I had such peace and every part of it just came together. I had the profound realization at one point, that, Jesus knew 100 years ago when this fabric was being made that it would one day be my wedding dress. And I could feel His excitement of seeing it happen. We made this dress together for my Re-Wedding but, He made this dress over generations. I didn't use a pattern and I just kept asking "cut here Lord?" and He said yes or no. We went on like that until it was done. I remember picking up a 'scrap' piece to hold up and eye where the sleeves might be and the piece was a perfect fit! A nd there was another one exactly like it on the floor! The embroidery on the linen fabric created perfectly spaced lines and interrogate designs that looked like they were done after the dress was made, to be that perfect.The lace layer was not attached to the bottom so that at the reception I could take the top off and have an evening dress to wear. I used my grandmothers brooch at the waist and I took the brooches that were left over from making my bouquet and made a necklace to wear at the reception. I will be forever in awe of this "supernatural" wedding dress. I hope it will be used by future generations of my family.
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I was- and am, overwhelmed by His greatness yet again.
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